Relationship P.S.

No, those were no butterflies in my stomach when I was in love with you; those were bad-ass dragons, biting off tiny bits of flesh from my heart. They left me bleeding and sore, but they enjoyed a flamingly exciting life inside me. When they passed away, they burned a little hole in one of my lungs. I know this for, now, when I breathe, I always have trouble taking in the air that no longer contains your presence.

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Feeling Mix

It’s impossible not to love, be charmed and annoyed at the same time by the grandparents of the child you raise when they show up just to bring you two bags of special corn flips, as they discovered the day before that the child didn’t want to eat the ones he had at home. You are charmed because they manage to remember such details, you love them deeply because they love your child so much as to trouble themselves over a trifle and you are annoyed that they are much too ready to satisfy every single whim of the spoiled little man.

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Immaturity

It’s not when he needs to hold my hand –

It’s not when he must hold my hand –

It’s when he wants to hold my hand

that I feel blessed.

Perfect touch of will and skin,

an embrace out of desire and affection.

When he is urged towards me by some instinct,

by some unfathomable drive –

my son holds my entire soul in his tiny fist,

throbbing with joy, feeling safe, sheltered and well placed.

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Love Anniversary

It’s your birthday soon.

What do you want? What present should I bring? What gift do you desire?

What should we do? Where shall we go? What do you want to eat? Who do you want to see?

What trip is there to be made? What’s at the very top of your list?

– scorpios, they always want the world. never modest. never shy.-

– being blunt with a scorpio is inspired tactics. give them what they want. –

– they will always tell you exactly what they need. when. how. maybe never why. –

I want to be with you. A day with you. Fingers linked, elbows touching, feet walking side by side.

To breathe the same air mollecule and to see the same ray of sunshine, that is all.

– scorpios. when they do not want the world, they want a human. entirely. selfishly. eternally. –

When does our brain learn symmetry?

I watch my 27-month-old son build his plastic brick contraptions and I marvel at the lack of association of what he creates with something (anything!) real (probable, feasible). Adults are tempted to try and build A thing .. a bridge, a tower, a castle, a boat, a tree.. anything that has a name, identity, conventional meaning and image.

I try not to influence him in any way since I love this no-connection creativity. I simply enjoy the fact that he needs no starting point, he needs no inspiration, no set notions or concepts. However, when I do help him place those Lego Duplo bricks one on top of the other, I realise the colours I choose, the types of bricks that I set as props.. they all fall into a minimal symmetry game of my subconscious. My son however is never tempted by it, he never cares that there is one single brick as foundation and 15 larger pieces on top, he never focuses on balance and equilibrium. He never deems them compulsory. Or useful.

I realised that there is no concern for symmetry or balance when he stacks things one upon the other in general. Which is why I noticed that these reflexes are acquired, learnt, assumed by a conscious effort of our mind and personality. It is one of those issues civilisation brings with it and which proves that humans evolve, develop and ‘mature’.

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