There are certain things I haven’t done in about 20 years. 20 years. Round number. Not terrifying. It doesn’t sound like an eternity. But when you are a child at heart 20 years is more than eternity. It’s forever 🙂 Children do not grasp the concept of eternity. But they no use the two never and ever quite a lot, with a personal certainty that they are more than aware of their meanings.
Yesterday, however, I returned to being a kid. Twice in a single day. A bit too much, maybe, but it was AWESOME !! I kept singing to myself It’s a kind of magic, magic… 🙂
First, I climbed up a tiny wooden staircase and watched out not to get my head hurt by bumping into the plastic cover of the playground slide and then squeezed into the yellow plastic slide and let myself fly downwards.. It wasn’t quite as thrilling.. I wasn’t litterally flying, but the fact that I managed to fit into that narrow slide and get down `the proper way` made me feel pround and silly at the same time. It was a wonderful feeling and I’m not ready to let go of that exquisite feeling of… King of the woooorld !!! 🙂
The second wild card of the day was my getting on and riding a bike. Sounds like a joke, but I’ve been too afraid to even try sitting on one that wasn’t pinned to the ground and linked to a heartbeat monitor for tens of years. Yesterday I plucked up all the courage I could muster and even pedalled my way ahead – in huge winding and yelling mode – for 10-30 meters. The vastness of my emotion exploded after I was back on the ground, walking side by side with my two-year-old – I realised in a sudden, brusque heart flutter that I was exaggerately proud of myself.
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
I was there. The one that had been ON the bike was now OFF, safely and cheerfully. Best evening in a very very long time! 🙂
PS > Smiles and laughs are welcome; no mocking commentaries shall be erased. 🙂
Image source : http://goo.gl/tOCfjC